Occupational Hazards of being the Bride

After three months of scrutinizing the almanac, consulting pundits, mapping astro charts, checking the availability of key relatives, key venues and forecasting chum-free dates, after almost finalizing dates twice and canceling twice too, the third time the parameters were all right and the date of my wedding was fixed! The date.

I had close to six months of preparation time and in hindsight, I am not so sure that was the best thing. Six months of visualizing what it would be like, six months of anticipating, of being anxious, excited and of running, re-running and re-re-running the events in your mind as to exactly how you would want it to be.

I thought to myself, I would look up every option available to me in clothes, accessories, make up, jewelery, wedding cards, naach gana and food. It would all be under control. It was going to be perfect.

All the hard work did pay off. I had my blissful share of fluff and the frills of a wedding which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Not so blissful were the occupational hazards of being a bride, for with the wedding vows come the wedding woes!

Shopping for my stuff was tricky. I had all the time in the world and always feared I would find something better in the next place. I looked at all that the shop had to offer, shortlisted two to three, tried them on and ended up buying nothing! So we went from shop to shop looking for "that Sari" and "that jhumka" that was going to be better!

This is tough especially on fathers since they have no concept of why a blue sari with silver sequins is aesthetically inferior to an aquamarine blue sari with copper embellishments or even that certain colors are better by day and certain better by night or that mauve, lilac and beige would look really hot with sequins but not so much were they plain. Or that mauve, lilac and beige were actually three different colors for that matter.

Too much fuss.

My dad was definitely not a part of the subsequent girly stuff shopping trips. He made it through one, thats commendable.

Mother, the more patient of the two and arguably better at telling lilac from pink, was the brave companion/ critic.

When VH1 ran the "Bridezilla" series on TV, I couldn't help thinking how much I was like those brides during the pre-wedding preparations!!!
Totally high strung!

Needless to say shopping was a long haul for us, but we got past all that, albeit with three saris in the lot, that were more or less the same shade!

Sleep is a luxury that I got very little of during my three day wedding. Yes that's right my three day wedding. Needless to say the final few days to the wedding also had me sleeping at the wee hours of the morning and waking up early to some or the other mini or maxi 'pre-cursor to the wedding' function!!

The wedding is an occasion to relax and enjoy for all but the ones getting wedded. You do enjoy it but in an altogether different way, for the sheer experience that it is! Nothing short of a full fledged Bollywood film. Its literally 'Lights! Camera! Action!'

And in typical filmy style it has hazaar costume changes too! I loved the fact that there were so many clothes and accessories to dress up in. Super exciting, super stressful too. But like it is said, "no pain, no gain".

In two days I changed through clothes eight times. A scaled down version of the Lakme India Fashion Week. Run into the green room, change clothes, make up, jewelery, footwear and then run out. Only to come panting back in within an hour or so to start over. All this amidst a group of minimum of nine aunts, cousin sisters and friends in all, that constantly reminded you of the precious little time at hand and how I really needed to step on it!!!

I remember the night of the Sangeet cum Engagement, when I was to change thrice!!

It took me close to an hour and a half to get ready from head to toe in Sari number one. The sari was rather heavy and we went through hell getting the pallu right, my hair was at its slippery best and getting the hairdo right was another task! Once done, dispatched with instructions to walk slowly and coyly, I reached the podium and in hardly ten minutes was sent back with the second sari I was required to re-emerge in!!!

All that trouble for ten minutes of public appearance!! This was rich!

While one is thrilled at the number of people who actually take the trouble of making it to the wedding, the less thrilling part is remembering who is who. Extended families of the groom and the bride, the family friends, and the friends.

In my case, the introductions were a blur. By the time I was 'hello-ing' with the fifteenth "Who in God's name is this" guest, my only objective was to smile and not reveal how clueless I was! The trickiest part was when some people enthusiastically said "Remember Me??", and I would have to almost bite my tongue to stop blurting out "Hell No!"

As I was introduced to group after group, I switched to photographic memory mode and commenced visual cataloging. Mother in law's oldest paternal uncle from Trivandrum, his wife, wife's sister and husband, their two children and blah blah blah..All I registered was funny old man with cottony hair, large lady in pista green sari, lady with lot of make up in an orange and green sari, bored looking bespectacled man holding onto Tom and Jerry!

Quite a few people to smile and take pictures with too. Twenty minutes into the group photo routine and your cheeks start hurting. Towards the thirtieth minute the facial muscles are flexed enough to numb and go beyond feeling pain. By now your face is set in the benign bright smile of a new bride. With practiced ease, effortlessly you pose for pictures after pictures arriving at a state of becoming what I call the 'Picture Pro'.

And then the video. Isn't it ever sooooo annoying to be videoed while eating?

You are invariably the absolute last to eat all that yummy food which was decided over three meetings with the caterer before being finalized as the wedding menu, the feast you had lusted over and planned to gorge on at your wedding. Suddenly none of it is eatable owing to exhaustion and the constant smiling and interacting with the guests.

To top it all, just when you think you are left alone to eat, the video wala is here focusing the video light on you, making you feel like a prisoner at a jail break, caught in the glare of a watch tower strobe light. Not to mention, the diligent photographer by his side clicking away at every chomp and chew! For documented evidence that the bride and groom ate and were very much in love through that as well, he will insist that we feed each other laddoos and jilebees! How sweet!

Sure enough I had to eat the Laddoo and open my mouth wider than I would at the dentist's! Yes, he got that on camera too.

All the cribbing aside, I so treasure these pictures and videos. Three hard bound albums and five online albums full of pictures. Each and every one of them has you in it. No I don't tire looking at them. Such vanity I tell you!!

Its also highly entertaining looking at these pictures and videos of people you know, caught making weird faces on camera and of people you don't know to finally figure out how you do know them after all!!

Every time I think back on the wedding there is something to smile about that comes to mind! Its like I have the DVD of my favorite movie stored away in my memories!! To rewind, play and enjoy for the years to come!